In 2015, a California masseuse named “G-- S--” was arrested for sexually assaulting a developmentally disabled client.

Now if I google “G-- S--” there’s a little blurb with my dad’s info alongside the other G-- S--’s mugshot.

4 months ago I clicked the “feedback” tab on Google. I said the photo was the wrong G-- S--. No edit has been made.

Two days ago I found a dead squirrel in my backyard. Its paws were so small.

The man at 411 told me to leave it at the curb for pickup. I had to use a cardboard box that said “Amazon” to lift the corpse into a cardboard box that said “IKEA.”

I wrote “contents: dead squirrel” on the box so that nobody would grab it thinking they’d scored a flat-pack end table — they’d only take it if they genuinely wanted a dead squirrel.