02.23.2024 UCLA law school courtyard

("Eugene just sent an email a little while ago...")

I do not know any popes. I have never met the pope. I have never generated a pope. I have never selected a pope.

I do not know any ancient germanic kings. I have never generated a germanic king. I have never programmed a machine to generate germanic kings. I do not even know whether germanic kings are the sort of thing that can be generated, but I think it can be done. I must have faith that it can be done - it is the kind of thing that gives me hope for a brighter future filled with more diverse germanic kings. I applaud all processes that promise to generate a better tomorrow.

I am a person among people. There are all these people around me and each one contains a world. I am not sure if I contain a world yet, but I hope to some day - I must have faith that a world is the sort of thing that can be generated.

02.23.2024 continued (same day maybe 2? hours later across from royce hall, right next to renée and david kaplan hall)

This is where I am right now. This is where I am right now. This is where I am right now. This is where I am right now. This is where I am right now. This is where I am right now. I am right here. This, right here, is where I am right now.

You are right here right now. You are just a mappable point in relation to all these birds. Don't be scared by this. Don't be scared by this. Take comfort in this. Look up at the sky for a while. Eat leftovers. Erect scaffolding in accordance with OSHA regulations. Apply for a visa. Avoid security cameras. Ride a scooter. Use two words interchangeably. Hydrate. Talk constantly about hydration. Drink water constantly. Piss everywhere, all the time. Use pens that leak. Use pens that smear. Challenge weak people to fights. Absolve. Shower sinners with holy water. Shower sinners with blessings. Shower daily. Towel off well. Keep your hair clean. Keep your feet dry. Keep yourself to yourself. Call out inauthentic late-period Federal furniture when you see it. Hydrate. Mock productivity Youtubers' spreadsheet tutorials behind their backs. Meet friends for coffee. Treat yourself to a second coffee. Treat yourself to a third. Yell at squirrels. Treat low-slung dogs with compassion. Avoid rush hour. Keep insults personal. Wear baggy jeans. Carry a statement water bottle. Hydrate. Increase property value by installing recessed lighting. Accrue interest. Litigate. Embrace discomfort. If a reception desk has a bowl of mints, take a mint. Stay on top of ever-changing trends in corporate architecture. Install a staircase that also functions as a seating area, which will serve as the perfect central spot for employees to casually gather and generate profitable ideas. Go to a water park. Light hilltop fires as beacons. Apply for a fellowship. Destroy a career. Hydrate. Audit a class. Try method acting. Busk in areas frequented by tourists until you get scouted by a talent agent who offers you a blind audition on The Voice. Avoid forever chemicals. Bury treasure. Take advantage of all the city has to offer. Gradually acquire a position of power on a local regulatory board. Develop a regional accent. Avoid eye contact. Make predictions. Gamble. Invest in real estate. Eat the majority of your meals in a cafeteria setting. Plan your outfits the night before. Experiment with different hats. Run every day. Collect taxes. Prioritize haircare. Hydrate.

02.17?.24 birdtown

Beep bop. Bop beep beep. Bop. Bop.


The time? 12:21. The horizon? Vast. The stomach? Bloated. The water? Fine.

02.14.24 Saint Valentine's Day

Oh! songs of love! Oh! Songs of love! Today is a thick day. Today is a soup day. If today were a soup it would be a thick soup. Today is a tall day. Today is a tree day. If today were a day it would be a day with heft.

02.11.24 3:40am

Bop. Bop bop bop. Bop bob bop. Bop bop.


Parno squamp (ib squamp non obgot?)


Accidentally closed all browser tabs today. Will choose to see this as a release.


Five days ago when we got home there was a praying mantis knocking at our front door. We walked up the front steps all ready to go inside and there was a praying mantis - a massive praying mantis — knocking at the door. She kept doing the same thing over and over. She would stand at the door and knock three or four times with her hand and fall over backwards and get back up and knock again. Over and over. We had to enter the house through the back door - it was the only way.

Who is she? we asked. What does she want? What does she know? What will she do to us if she gets inside the house? How should we protect ourselves, both physically and spiritually? Is this an okay time to indulge in the word "Kafkaesque?"

The next day there she was, hovering on the porch like a missionary, waiting to accost us. We had to leave the house through the back door - it was the only way.

Today, I didn't see her. I looked around the porch for ages and finally found her lying on her side by the planter, contorted and still. I went back inside and I mourned her. I mourned her. Maybe I should have let her in, I thought. Maybe I should have let her in.

When I went to get the mail a few hours later, she was standing at the front door, ready to pounce. "Fuck you," I told her, and I meant it.

back to diary