DEAR DIARY

1.27.2023

Lin Manuel Miranda was staging a site-specific educational musical in my garden and he played a mole/man called Mr. Mole and he stood in the mud and performed this rap that went:

I am the Mole Man
I’m just diggin’ some holes, man
Turning over the loamy soil ‘til I’m an old man
Like man — I’m just tryna build me a home, man
Oh damn, destroying your plants
Was not a part of my plan
It’s just a side effect of doing what I do
And being who I am, man.

1.11.2023

ON ARCHERY

I always thought that I would be naturally gifted at archery. I have one elf ear. I wear my hair in a long braid. This seems indicative of god-given talent with a bow.

When I tried archery once at summer camp, I was disappointed to find that, without practice or training, I was mediocre at best.

I suppose my talents are vast but lie elsewhere.

Maybe I should try woodcarving.

ON SHOPPING

Shopping is overwhelming. 1 choice of cereal is authoritarian. 3 is inadequate. 5 is limited. 10 is an assortment. 20 is an array. 55 is a godawful assault to the senses and makes me wish that I only had one choice of cereal, and that someone told me exactly what time of day to eat it.

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